I've spent a lot of time pondering how to even start, what possible story I could tell. But really, I can only start at the start. So at least for now, I'll tell you when it was that I knew that I loved him. I met him doing a show at Tygres Heart Shakespeare. The play was Much Ado About Nothing. He was "Head Butler" and I was Ursula (?). Needless to say, we both had a lot of time on our hands. His job was to stand center stage in the back for nearly the whole show. I didn't know him at all, but whenever my character (also standing around a lot) landed upstage, I'd hear these completely ridiculous, absurdly funny comments coming out the side of his mouth. Made me smile ear to ear.
In recent years, Josh had shorter hair. But when it was long, he had the most beautiful hair I've ever seen, man or woman. I noticed that immediately, I'm sure most of you knew that too. Because of the show, he was told he had to cut it - not just a little, but from the middle of his back to about an inch above his ears. Our hair/makeup designer took him back to the prop area, and we all knew it was "The Day." Most everyone was on stage, but I was free. And so it was that I sat backstage with him, holding his hand, and I cried as they cut his hair. He was very brave about it (all for the sake of ART), but I knew it was so hard for him. And at that moment, I knew absolutely that I would love him forever, in whatever way that meant.
I still can't explain what it was about that haircut.
Hi. I assume this is Allison. I just wanted you to know that in the 10 years i knew Josh he never said an unkind word about you. I only mention this cause i saw a post from you on Hazen's other blog and you mentioned something about personna non grata. I'm sure that Josh still loved you just as you still love him. I hope i get to meet you tomorrow. And i hope you are doing as well as you can given the terrible circumstances. You are not alone in your feelings.
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